Words and Blessings

There are some words that you never forget.  They are spoken once and they go somewhere deep deep inside where they become a part of the story of your life in an irreversible way.

I remember some such words from this story of my life, and this morning I was reminded of them.  I was reading Job while on my porch swing...and at the end, it speaks of God's ultimate blessing over his life - that after the sorrow and grief had overtaken him and he had walked a road of severe disastrous pain...that the Lord blessed him more in the later part of his life than in the former part - the part he had lost so tragically.

This passage always takes me back to sitting in the front row of Lifespring Christian Church during Jason's memorial service.  I was 27 - widowed, confused, overwhelmed, sad, exhausted, lost.  In the last few days I had been driven around by family and had made decisions that made no sense to me.  I had walked through coffins and was told to pick out one for my husband.  I had been taken to various grave plots and had to decide which one to bury him in.  I had looked through his clothing and had chosen out something for him to wear in the coffin....I had sat in a funeral home and had to ask everyone to leave so I could have one moment with my face in his shirt, breathing him in and crying my eyes out before I had to hand it over...

...choosing a coffin instead of a couch or a crib, picking a grave plot instead of a vacation destination.  It all made no sense to me.

Maybe this feels like to much to read.

But it is the real deal.  It is part of the story of who I am.

As I sat in the front row of that beautiful service to honor Jason's life... I will never ever forget the moment my dad spoke..and what he said to me.

He bravely got up in front of the crowd.

He told the story of Job in the Bible.

And when he got to the part where God blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first, he looked right at me.  I vividly remember his eyes being red with tears as he basically said, "I believe that is what God will do for you."

I have never, ever forgotten those words.  Those words spoken with such love from my dad who loved me and hurt so much for me.

Those words spoken in Job about a heavenly father who holds a love for his creation that has a depth that no human can understand.

I think of those words dad spoke...and I choose to believe them.  Because I do know the love of my heavenly Father...I have experienced it time and time again.

Words and blessings.  They matter.