Peter, suddenly bold, ...
I've realized that many of the fears that threaten to take me down in life involve the fear that at some point in the future, I won't have enough. It's not about this day. It's about what's in front of me. And for me, it's almost always about not having enough of what I need to make a decision that I'll need to make...whatever that decision might be.
I fear having a scarcity of resolve, direction, peace, knowledge, trust. I'm scared that I'll be looming out there needing to make a choice and I won't have what it takes...or that I WILL make a decision....and it'll be the wrong one....and I'll live the rest of my life in utter regret over my dreadful decisions. Wow. So crazy.
I was talking with a friend who is currently not with her children because she's in an addiction recovery program getting clean. She confided in me that she fears she won't have what it takes to raise her kids when she gets them back. She worries that she'll go back to heroin and won't be able to do it.
My response to her was that I believe she will have WHAT she needs WHEN she needs it.
And that is not today.
How easy it is to believe this for someone else...
I should speak those same words to myself.
Maybe that's why when I read the story of Peter, the words "suddenly bold" pop off the page to me. Peter may not have had boldness when Jesus was still up on the mountain praying. He may not have had any idea that he was going to do something of courage - that he might get out of the boat in order to walk on water.
BUT...Peter did have what he needed to choose to walk on the water with Jesus, WHEN he needed it. When it was time to take courage and get out of that boat, he was overcome with boldness... suddenly.
And perhaps critical to the story is that Peter was already living a life of bravery and risk-taking before the storm where he chose to be brave once again. He had already proven his ability to take risks by leaving his old life to follow Jesus.
May we believe the same will happen to us. As we abide in Jesus, as we choose a similar lifestyle of living each day with courage in the exact places where we are...may we throw off any thoughts that we won't have what it takes at some point in the future.
Instead I choose to believe that because of Jesus, when the the time comes to be bold I will have what it takes to be bold. And you will too.
And then by his power...we will get out of the boat.