Thursday, April 24, 2014

Copper or Gold

There are days where I feel like I just get up just a little bit only to be knocked back down again by disappointment.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way...
It seems like God is regularly answering my prayers with a NO.

I ask "What about this God?"

His answer is "No."

"Is this a good idea?"


"Will you please do THIS, Lord?"


Maybe it's a "Not Yet" instead of a "No"...but the reality is that it doesn't really matter.
"Not Yet" is a "No" too.

Sometimes the leading from God requires action on my part.  I actually am choosing something different because of his direction in my life.  But lately his No answers have not even required any action from me.  I cannot even change the outcome.  I just stand there praying for various situations, and he hands down an answer that is untouchable by me.  It just is what it is...and any striving or planning or working on my end will not change the outcome.

Seriously, I feel I could use less severity in these answers sometimes...

To be honest, there ARE some days when I look at this crazy life I'm living and it feels like some sort of Epic Story that is being carved out by a creative and loving hand that loves adventure and redemption.  And I get excited for what's next...

But then there are many other days where it seems like these are just disappointing answers that I don't really want to hear -  like I missed the flight to Hawaii and ended up on Greyhound bus headed to Hazard, Kentucky.  Disappointing to say the least.

And I'll be honest - I am quite sure that my life is wildly entertaining for all those around me.  Really...ask them and they'll agree.  I cannot make up the stories that I have of late.

But really... I am starting to feel exhausted by the No's.


It's time to reframe these No's.  

It is absolutely necessary that I recommit to looking at these answers in a different light.  What if every time the Lord answered any request of mine with a "No" or a "Not yet"...
instead of collapsing into self-pity or sorrow or grief, I started saying to myself the following phrase, "Wow.  If THAT'S not the path for me...and it looked pretty great...then I can't wait to see the Yes that is coming...whatever it is... because It must be incredible!"

I really need to start using the very disappointment I am experiencing to point me to a greater reality that is already planned out and worked out, according to His love...AND is on the way.

There MUST be a greater plan that he's saying yes to in his wisdom.   Because God is all powerful and God is love.  

There are many gifts in my life that my late husband, Jason, gave to me....and one is a phrase that I find myself repeating when I'm disappointed.  I can still remember sitting with him one day as I was upset about something that wasn't working out the way I had wanted.  I had received a "No"...and I was sad.

In that moment, I vividly remember Jason saying to me the following phrase:

"What if this is copper and God has gold?"

In all of my rantings and feelings I had not even left room for this option.
And when he said it, it resonated with me.

So yeah... What if?  What if THIS (whatever THIS is for me or for you in the present situation...)
is copper, and gold is coming?

It throws everything into a whole new light.
Because as much as I like copper...
I like gold better.  

I'm reframing the disappointments.

By God's grace, I'm going to sit in a humble posture before Him believing he does indeed know best AND sees so infinitely far beyond the particular moment in time where I am living and breathing.

I'm going to celebrate this moment I'm living with all of it's blessings and goodness.

I'm going to pray my guts out.

And I'm going to get excited for the gold.